Why I Became a Utah Doula

“Why hadn’t the baby come?  Was the baby too big? Was her pelvis too small?” etc. To this he replied “No, everything was perfect, he was just taking his time.”

A Labor of Comfort

I decided to become a Utah Doula because of the experience I had with the birth of my first little boy, Tyrel. I had completed a hypnosis birthing class and found it intriguing and exciting. I would later learn that it wasn’t as educational and informative as I needed.

After 32 hours of labor at home, I was still comfortable but close to exhaustion. I knew that the deep relaxation I had learned in class was working, but I was almost too tired to keep trying.


Hospital Transfer and my C-Section (Tyrel’s Birth)

“Her pelvis must be too small . . .”

24 hours after my water broke my midwife said it was time to go to the hospital. I was devastated, but I wanted my baby to be safe and I was sure if we were going to the hospital that it had to be necessary.

When I arrived at the hospital, I feel like the focus of all those around me was to be done and just get the baby here. After pushing for 4 hours, I heard comments in the room that “her pelvis must be too small”, and “I’ve never not seen this technique work.” With these comments being made around me, and out of sheer exhaustion, I decided to have a cesarean birth.

The surgery went well, and I had a beautiful and healthy little boy, but I felt disconnected from the whole experience.

An Unnecessary C-Section

Afterward, my husband asked the doctor what went “wrong”, and “Why hadn’t the baby come?  Was the baby too big? Was her pelvis too small?” etc. To this he replied “No, everything was perfect, he was just taking his time.”

These words cut like a knife. Most women who have experienced a c-section know the months of recovery and pain. And to have had an unnecessary c-section made all my work feel pointless. Why hadn’t anyone stuck up for me? I had to understand and so I began reading everything that I could get my hands on.

My Path to Becoming a Utah Doula

With a cesarean rate that has just risen to 30% in the United states, I knew something was wrong with our system.

I started doing research with a fury to keep my mind off the hurt and anger I felt over my birthing experience, and was astounded at what I found. With a cesarean rate that has just risen to 30% in the United states, I knew something was wrong with our system.

I decided that for me personally my cesarean could have been avoided if I had had the support I needed. I felt strongly the need to help women who are faced with the medical world of birthing everyday, and especially to help women who faced what I did.

I love what I do, and my dream is to daily change the birthing world by empowering mom’s to know that they CAN give birth. Helping women have the birth they desire is more than my job or a hobby, it is my sincere passion.

Journeys, like artists, are born and not made. –Lawrence Durrell


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